The Figuring
by Dont Tread On Me
Summary: Shake decides to boil some actionfigures in Carl's pool. Naturaly, all hell breaks loose. First ATHF fic! Go easy on me, and R


The Figuring

(Ah, yeah. Now we come to my first Aqua Teen fic, hope it is decent enough to grace the wonderful pages of Fan-Fiction. Net, ya (BLEEP)'s. Seriously, hope you enjoy and R&R)

Carl lay in his room, wearing his usual wear of a pair of blue sweatpants, a white tank top and green sandals. He was pretty silent in that mode of sleep, dreaming of normal neighbors, a hot wife, and 24/7-365 access to the Giant's training room, since he was a member of their football team…with a full head of hair.

His dreams, were suddenly, rudely, interrupted.

"Carl!"

Carl's eyes shot open whilst making a sound similar to the first part of "Yabba-Dabba Doo, just with three Yabba's and no Dabba Doo's.

He immediately got his 'I am going to freaking kill you' face, looking up to one of his three plagues, a gigantic Milkshake with two yellow gloves, a pink straw and two large eyes.

"Your pool is cold…You realize that?"

"…Its…" Carl took a quick look at the clock. "6:40 in the freakin' morning."

"Yes, Carl, I realize that! I, too, can read a clock." Master Shake said, getting an angered look on his face.

"Lemie Repeat that. It is now 6:42 in the morning, what the (BLEEP) are you doing in my room!"

"The pool is freezing, Carl! You should be more responsible and maintain the pool's temperature at all times! It's really inconsiderate of you to just-"

"Get the hell out of my house and stay away from my (BLEEP)ing pool!"

Shake scooted out, and Carl went back to sleep….

Several hours later, Carl awoke again; this time because the temperature was abnormally warm…Carl assumed the house was on fire. He grumbled about his neighbors, again, and made his way to the door. Seeing no smoke, or fire for that mater, Carl immediately thought of the sanctity of his lawn. Again, seeing nothing wrong, he made his way to the back yard.

In there, the pool was filled with small action figures. Every single one was identical to one another, with no paint on any of them. However, it could have been assumed that the figures did at one time have paint, as the entire of the pool's water was colored a mix of purple, yellow, pink with slight splotches of black.

And who, may you wonder, was responsible for this?

Yup, there was Shake, fanning a fire of smoldering magazines and other flammable materials 'borrowed' from Carl's house, which was currently burning under and in close proximity to the pool, causing the paint-tinted water inside of the pool to boil.

A question was answered, yet so many more were presented to the Forty-Something New-Jersey resident. He summed them up to the giant beverage in the best way he could muster.

"What the hell are you doing to my pool!"

Shake stopped fanning his flames, then got an irritated look on his face.

"YOUR pool? Excuse me Carl, but this is just as much my pool as it is yours. I have the right, to do what I want with it. And if that means I want to make a giant boiling pot out of it, then I can, and there isn't anything you can do about it."

Carl was fuming. This was the usual B.S he expected from his insane neighbor.

"Oh, oh! I'm sorry, maybe I should just let you continue with boiling statues in my freakin pool!" Carl said with his usual sarcasm.

"I'm removing the paint from them thank you very much!" Said Shake. Carl rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath, remembering the stress-tapes….The one with the girl with the nice ass.

He closed his eyes, and tried to envision a world without his neighbors, akin to his dream.

That was, until, a drop of the bubbling water landed on his forehead. He shouted out loud and ran around in circles, screaming his head off.

"Do you mind, Carl? This is a very delicate process that you are interrupting!"

The sight of Carl running around in circles caught the attention of a young piece of meat, sitting on the windowsill, blinking once or twice.

"Hey, Frylock! Carl's dancing!"

At that moment, a large red carton of fries with a Goatee and a large jewel imbedded in it's back floated into the room, peering out the window.

"What the hell is Shake doing now?" Frylock said, only waiting for the rambling piece of meat to explain the rather odd, yet somehow normal situation.

"Well, Shake finally got those 'The Drizzle' figures me and him ordered, and the pink was on the mask and not on the straw, which made it look all fruity. And then I made fun of it callin' it the "Butt Avenger", and he got all mad."

"How many exactly did he order?" Frylock said, watching Carl rubbing his head on the grass.

"44,000…."

Well, that explained setting the pool on fire...

"He said 44'000 was a lucky number, I think it's stupid. 'The Drizzle', who would buy anything of that lame-ass superhero?"

Frylock had already gone, leaving Meatwad alone to his rambling. Meatwad looked down and sighed.

"Dang it, that was an important part of what I was sayin'…."

Frylock, in this instance, usually said one of three things when confronted with a situation such as this. 'Oh my God' 'Shake, what are you doing' and the ever popular 'what the hell are you doing?'

Option Two was selected.

"Shake, what are you doing?"

Shake leaned down with a sigh, his hands unable to reach his face. "Why does everyone have to- I am trying to fix these action figures!"

Frylock raised an eyebrow while looking in the pool. "Well, how it looks, normal water would have done just fine to get the paint off…"

Shake again scoffed. "Of course it would! But it wouldn't have gotten rid of all the paint! The stuff on the underarms is industrial stuff!"

"Yeah, Shake…about Carl…"

Speaking of Carl, he now actually had a burn on his forehead that made him look like the Elephant Man.

"Ah, he's fine!" Shake assured the floating carton of fried potato slices. Said carton of floating potato slices 'leaned' over Carl's bulbous head.

"Damnit, Shake! He can't breathe now!" Shouted Frylock.

Master Shake sighed loudly "Fine…You can have his room."

"Shake, I don't want his damn room!" Said Frylock as he raised Carl up to a sitting position, who commenced breathing in a raspy, wet fleshy way.

"Pfrhylochk, I'hm gohphing to khill hphm!" Carl shouted, his speech unable to be clearly heard as his forehead was blocking his mouth.

"Shake, where did you get these figurines?" Said Frylock, as he scanned the contents of the paint.

"I got them from the finest custom figurine shops!" Shouted Shake as Meatwad rolled up next to him.

"I thought you told me you got them from some place called Mogadishu."

"MOGADISHU! As in Mogadishu SOMALIA!" Shouted Frylock.

"Yes. Now, if you excuse me…I HAVE TO BOIL SOME MEAT!" Said Shake as he started to chase Meatwad around Carl's yard as both of them screamed out random obscenities.

Frylock sighed and lifted Carl's bulbous forehead from his face.

"Fry-Man, what the hell did that idiot do! Now he ruined my good looks! I was going on a date tomorrow! …Well, going to get one tomorrow!"

"Carl, this paint is loaded with industrial strength chemicals, half of which are banned and the other half are in the process of being banned…My god…"

"W-What! What! What is it, what's wrong!"

"Not IPEX 12X…Not that!"

"WHAT!"

"IPEX 12X is a mutagenic toxin…I'm afraid…You're going to mutate."

"Mutate! Awesome! W-Will I get powers, you know, like…The X-Men?"

"Carl, this causes harmful genetic mutations! You wont get any superpowers!"

As if to prove it, Carl's arm suddenly exploded into a tentacle.

"Ohhhh….That's not good…." Carl then fainted…

Frylock sighed and brought Carl back to his room, propping him up so he sat correctly.

Meanwhile….

"Get away from me!"

"Come back here you little tattle tale! When I'm done with you, they are going to have to reverse-tenderize your ass!"

"Shake!" Shouted Frylock, as Shake stopped and Meatwad rolled behind Frylock.

"That paint you used for your figures? It's turning Carl into a mutant."

"Really! We got a pool of the stuff right here! We could turn into the new Mutant-League!" Shake announced.

"Hey, I want to have the ability to, uh, eat anything I see, cuz then I wouldn't have to wait for Shake to get food all the time. And I could eat buildings too." Meatwad stated.

"It produces HARMFUL genetic abnormalities. God only knows what is happening to Carl now…"

As if to speak for him, a green tentacle suddenly busted out of Carl's window, as well as an eyeball on a stalk.

Frylock groaned slowly. "Wait here…" He said, as he floated off…

Some time later…

Frylock came back with some scars and exploded viscous fluids. Carl's room was on fire.

"Okay, I d-…You didn't…"

Shake and Meatwad were covered in a thick layer of Mogadishu Mutagenic paint.

"I can feel the power raging through me, I can feel my body changing to become the Incredible Maw! Rated R…"

"Like hell you are, no-one can beat THE DRIZZLE!"

"Piff, I'll just eat your drizzling butt."

"Oh yeah! Eat this!" Shake said, as he pointed his fingers at him.

"LIGHTNING, COME FORTH AND AHINLATE THE NAYSAYER!"

Nothing happened…

"Humph, I thought you said this stuff was muta-GEARGH!" Shouted shake as his head split open and revealed a gaping maw with several fleshy heads snapping around for prey.

"Uh…Meatwad…lets get out of here…"

However, Meatwad just opened his mouth up wide and sucked the Shake-Monster in, as Frylock watched, mouth agape.

"I told him I'd do it."

Meanwhile, in a lab close to the south jersey shore…

"SWEET! My figures from Mogadishu arrived!"

The End?

(Ah yes, it is hard to write ATHF fiction, but I hope I did enough to make it in their spirit. Give me a break and R&R, I don't write ATHF fiction all the time :P )


End file.
